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About Us -- Header -- Deepak Chopra, M.D.

Question:

I am having a lot of trouble moving on from the last man I’ve dated. I find myself with a heavy heart and grief filled, often becoming overly emotional and weeping over this loss even though a significant amount of time has passed since our last meeting (over 6 months). We didn’t spend too much physical time together, but were often in communication over the course of a year. I believe I am an HSP and become very emotionally attached to “significant others” even if we only date a few times. I dwell on “what could have been” and try to stay positive but find it increasingly difficult to learn a positive lesson from this relationship instead of dwelling on the loss. Staying open to meeting other men and delving into new relationships becomes increasingly daunting as I am afraid of getting hurt or being rejected. What is your advice for moving on, remaining open to love, and clearing myself of this negative energy? Many thanks.

Deepak's Response:

What strikes me in your letter is that there wasn’t a fully developed relationship for you to grieve over. Your attachment to the past is not founded upon memories, but rather expectations. So it is not a case of healing your past as much as it a matter of you learning to stay in the present. Don’t think about learning a lesson from the relationship. Focus on learning a lesson about remaining in the present moment. Whenever you think of what could have been, or feel the loss, you are in the past. When you worry about rejection, you are in the future. If you keep your attention in the present, there is no grief of the past and no fear of pain in the future. That is how to remain open to love.

Love,
Deepak

 

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