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About Us -- Header -- Deepak Chopra, M.D.

Question:

I have been in an emotional roller coaster since last year. I found out my husband’s unfaithfulness and lies. I decided not to leave the relationship just because of this but I have tried to forgive everything he did to me. Everyday I ask Jesus to help me live my life and forget all the pain he caused me. I really want to stay in this marriage and trust him but I am torn apart. I have no peace of mind, no happiness whatsoever. I asked myself if I leave him will he find happiness and will I too? I see that he is meeting me halfway during this effort of reconciliation. How do I give fully trust this man? Whenever I leave for work, my toxic thoughts of him possibly sneaking around again poisons my mind. I want to stop and love myself.

Answer:

I suggest you make your focus healing your emotional pain as it comes up in the moment. You may find it helpful to see a therapist or counselor to help you process these raw feelings.  If you stick with healing your actual emotions and avoid getting bogged down in the stories about trust, betrayal and forgiveness. Because as long as your hurt remains unhealed, your toxic mind will feel justified in holding on to the distrust. Paradoxically, the surest route to forgiveness and trust is to not dwell on trying to forgive and trust. Heal your heart first, and then the forgiveness happens automatically.

Love,
Deepak

 

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