Take the Emotional Intelligence Quiz & learn how to move beyond the emotional blocks to true happiness, mind-body health, and fulfilling relationships.
Release Emotional Pain, Limiting Beliefs, and Negative Thought-Patterns
In many cases, our emotional intelligence and ability to relate to ourselves in a nurturing, life-affirming way are limited by conditioned thought-patterns and stored emotional pain. The limits we impose on our emotions originated with the discomfort of our parents. We formed our boundaries by reacting to theirs. They also were taught as children to recognize when an emotion was “too much.” Their sense of appropriateness and their ability to empathize and express themselves was inherited, and they had little choice but to pass it on.
What this means is that our emotional life isn’t completely ours. It comes to us secondhand. Every tear we shed, every angry outburst, and every peal of laughter reflects the emotional comfort range of parents, caregivers, grandparents, and other people who have been influential in our lives.
As we were growing up and as adults, we may have also experienced emotionally painful events such as divorce, the loss of a job or a dream, the death of a loved one, and so on. If we haven’t been able to heal and release the pain of the past, the emotional toxicity we are still carrying will further limit the free flow of our emotional intelligence and our capacity for authentic happiness and fulfillment.
Here is the good news: No matter what has happened up until this point, you can move beyond past limitations and experience true emotional well-being.
Dr. David Simon has developed a transformative five-step process – Free to Love, Free to Heal – that will guide you in releasing your pain – and teach you the skills to increase your emotional intelligence and awaken your infinite potential for love, happiness, and true success.
The foundation of emotional intelligence is awareness, and one of the most powerful technologies for increasing awareness is the practice of meditation.
As you may know from your experience, it is easy get caught in the vise grip of a mood that can completely color your worldview and even alter your behavior in less-than-desirable ways. You may even become so identified with your state that you feel the core of who you are is this sad or angry or fearful person, experiencing no space inside and no room for a broader perspective on your situation.
When this kind of emotional hijacking occurs, your ability to be fully present, creative, and responsive to life is compromised. By meditating on a regular basis, you can loosen the grip of these sticky emotions while also accessing your natural state – one of clarity and peace.
All emotions can be reduced to two primary feelings: comfort and discomfort. We feel comfort, happiness, and pleasure when we are getting our needs met. We feel distress, sadness, and pain when we are not. All emotions derive from needs.
Exercise consistently. As researchers have discovered, physical exercise is a powerful, natural way to elevate your mood and release the buildup of stress that can limits our capacity for emotional intelligence. Find a form of exercise that you enjoy and that includes training in flexibility, strength, and cardiovascular development (ideally, 20 minutes of aerobic activity each day).
Try Yoga for Body-Centered Awareness
We suggest that you practice a form of consciousness-based yoga, such as the Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga, several times a week. When practiced with conscious awareness, yoga is a transformative practice for integrating your mind, body, and spirit. When you move through the poses mindfully, you will be able to feel the places in your body that are constricted and where emotions are struck. By moving breathing into these areas with gentle intention, you will begin to mobilize and release emotional toxicity.